queermail | (no subject)

Name: Amber
Age: 25
Location: Virginia, United States
How do you identify?: This is complicated for me. In my early teen years I identified as bisexual, but I'm no longer really attracted to women. As for gender... I was born female, but I have definitely come to accept I'm FTM. The problem is that I'm married, and my husband is definitely straight. I still love him very much, and so I'm stuck remaining female until my life changes.
Interests/hobbies: Roleplaying and writing. Reading - just about anything. Hot Wheels (the toy cars). I absolutely love animals - I have three miniature pinschers and four cats - though I'm currently fostering a litter of kittens - and a koi pond. Movies. Theater. Music - both playing and listening; I play seven or eight instruments. I'm interested in cooking, though I don't do it much. I love webdesign and coding, as well.
Favorite books: Too many to list. It's probably easier to list favorite authors, really. Anne Rice, Naomi Novik, David Levithan. The Harry Potter series. I love sci fi/fantasy, vampire stories, classics, plays, some romance, historical fiction. I'm not big on westerns. Here's what I've read this year - I've not been reading much lately, sadly.
Favorite films: Star Trek, Stargate, Sherlock Holmes, IronMan, IronMan 2, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, anything with Will Ferrell - especially Stranger then Fiction.
Favorite music: I listen to just about all music, except country. Favorite artists include - Incubus, Live, Metallica, Rammstein, Korn, 311.
What would you like to send/receive?: I don't know. I'm just looking to make some connections with people who know what it's like to be queer. I'd probably prefer to start out things in comments/PMs on LJ. From there we can go to IM, e-mail, handwritten letters, packages, whatever. I've always wanted penpals, but after running into some psychos online, I'm hesitant.
Who would you like to send and receive mail from?: Someone with similar interests and favorites.
What countries would you like to receive mail from and send to?: The US would be cheapest, which is good, but I don't mind mailing internationally.
Anything that you would particularly NOT like to receive?: Candy/sweets aren't a great idea, since I'm diabetic, but since I got my insulin pump I indulge every once in a while.
What would be in your dream letter or package?: I haven't given it a lot of thought.
Anything else you'd like to add?: I can't think of anything right now.
Picture: I hate pictures of myself, but if you really want one, I'll give you one.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can agree with you about having to hide the trans thing.

My mom has found out and does not mind (in the sense that she is ignoring it) but my dad--whom I have returned living with--does not know and would not want to know.

I can't even imagine my family's reaction. My husband accepts that I feel male, but he would never accept me becoming physically male.

One of my best friends started transitioning recently (he's FTM as well), and his husband hasn't exactly reacted well. It's heartbreaking to see how the one person you love wouldn't accept who you feel you're truly meant to be. But I guess that's how humanity is; not accept anything that doesn't fit society's "norms".

I... don't know that it's that. At least not in my case. My husband is just straight and has no attraction to anyone the least bit physically male. It has less to do with him accepting me and more to do with the fact that he'd not be attracted to me.

Oh, okay, I understand what you're saying.

I'm sure that has partly to do with my friend's situation, but his husband was fine with it up until he was ready to transition. Then he freaked. I guess you can't really lump everyone's situations up in the same boat, like I did in what I initially commented with.

As for gender... I was born female, but I have definitely come to accept I'm FTM. The problem is that I'm married, and my husband is definitely straight. I still love him very much, and so I'm stuck remaining female until my life changes.

Yes, hello, I do believe we are clones.
I've got AIM/MSN if you ever want to say hello. I'm at work a lot and I live in England so I'm kind of hard to get a hold of sometimes but... Yea.
AIM: cardboardcarbine
MSN: carboncarbine at live dot co dot uk

I've added you to my buddy list. I'll message the next time I see you on.

We don't seem to have a whole lot of actual interests in common, but I just wanted to say...

My ex is a formerly-solidly-bi, pump-using type-1 diabetic trans man who's now almost exclusively attracted to men. (Hence his being my ex. *g*) We both thought the world was going to end when he realized there wasn't any real way for us to be in a relationship anymore. I realize the situation is slightly different - his gender didn't change over the five years we were together; his sexuality did - but it's pretty close!

And we've actually found that breaking up over something so fundamental and beyond our control (rather than someone's bad behavior, or something) has made it much easier to remain really close friends. It's been about two months, and we both miss each other and the relationship terribly, but our history, the fact that we know each other better than anyone else could and really adore each other, has turned into the foundation for a really solid friendship.

I'm not saying this to talk you into breaking up with your husband - that's so not my place! - but rather to reassure you that, if it ends up happening, a positive outcome is at least possible.