(no subject)

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

Name: amanda.

Age: 17.

Location: las vegas, nv, usa.

How do you identify?: female. i usually just say i'm bisexual, because it's a lot easier to say that than what i feel like i am. which is that i'm just attracted to who i'm attracted to, be it looks or personality, and it doesn't matter a bit what they are (which may fall under pansexual? but i still feel like it's too narrow to name it; i'm just a sexual being like everyone else).

Interests/hobbies: technical theatre (sound and lights especially), writing, listening to music, movies, psychology, drawing, reading, tumblr, facebook, hanging with friends, the paranormal, television, and stuff like that.

Favourite books: catcher in the rye is my favourite without a doubt. it changed how i looked at myself and the world so much. just listen, the giver, hills like white elephants, evergreen, full tilt, etc.

Favourite films: (500) days of summer, rocky horror, get him to the greek, twelve, 9, beetle juice, mirrors, haunting in connecticut, the graduate, rushmore, what happens in vegas, unstoppable, etc.

Favourite music: my band list is too long, but genre wise i usually stick to alternative/post-hardcore/pop-rock/pop-punk/some popular pop stuff and a bunch of random songs i just fall in love with. i'm a lyrics person, but i can't seem to stand country.

Who would you like to send and receive mail from?: anyone who can thinks they can get along with me. i'm usually very laid back. i've been told i'm an old soul? while that might be bullshit, i do think i act older than my age. and being constantly immature and bitchy gets on my nerves.(:

Anything else you'd like to add?: i have borderline personality disorder, so i can be very black and white. and i have moments where i don't really know what i'm doing or saying, although you have to be close to me to see that side of me. but i try to always be honest with people. no matter how much it will hurt me, them, or the relationship. in the end, it's just the best way to go. lying and pretending may elongate the relationship, but if it's fake why would you want it?

i'm a little messed up. i have moments of complete depression, and moments where i'm completely happy to the point of mania. so here's my warning sign: i have a lot of baggage, but that's taught me a lot. i don't judge people about anything they do. and i don't really react to things like cutting, drinking, or drugs. it doesn't phase me and has no impression on how i see someone as a person.

Picture (optional):

Comments

[musicalgal14.livejournal.com]

It's almost silly how similar we are.

This is my entry from a few months back: http://community.livejournal.com/queermail/207170.html#comments

Care to be my penpal?

[theshirelife.livejournal.com]

There's nothing narrow in using the term pansexual. Pansexuality is a very very broad category comprising of many different sorts or relationships and configurations.

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

but saying i'm pan, i feel makes everything i ALWAYS feel pan. when really, i don't feel sexual 80% of the time, and then when i do, i have no real boundaries on what i do or don't like - it's just what i'm into at THAT moment. i also kind of feel like naming sexuality is unnecessary, but since people need solid facts to feel sure about themselves or other people, i understand the need for it.

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

so i read to lighting and sm, and i was like - YUP. i don't think i've ever found someone into tech on here. haha.

do you have AIM my dear?

[theshirelife.livejournal.com]

Pansexuality isn't only about the "sex". Take me and my sweetheart for example. I'm a genital female, but my gender is male- ergo transgender. I am attracted to and sexually desire other males- ergo gay. Yet, I still fall in love with women (mind/soul) but I am not in any way sexually attracted. I like to kiss/hug/make-out with women, but I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with them. I'm also polyamorous. My sweetheart, however, is lesbian and asexual. She loves and is attracted to women, but has no desire for sex. Yet, she loves me even though I'm male and gay, and I love her even though she is lesbian and asexual. We have a romantic friendship, or emotional/mind/soul based relationship. Whatever you want to call it- it does fall into the broad category of pansexuality even though there is no sex involved.

As for naming sexuality being unnecessary, yes, I understand most feel that way for whatever their reasons. However, I find that when something doesn't have a name- it makes it that much harder for anyone, even the individual experiencing it, to understand. Naming something doesn't necessarily take away its nuances or how expansive the thing may be. Naming doesn't strip the thing down to its barest essentials. It just makes it easier to understand.

Think about it- what if there were no names or categories for emotions, behaviors, mental/emotional states and their degrees and subsets? It would be like pre-psychiatric/early psychiatric history. People who suffered from some form of mental illness were tossed into prisons because no one had a framework to tell whether the person was sane and thereby responsible for their actions or not. Or it could be that you are melancholy or you have a temper or you did something that was considered "insane" and you get carted off to an asylum to be committed against your own will even though you are not suffering from any form of mental illness.

Perhaps these are bad examples, but individuals are so complex and nuanced that we do need words and names to aid us in being understood.

p.s. Sorry about the soap box speech. I like to argue and debate things far too much. :-) I respect your thoughts and feelings, but I just thought I should play devil's advocate and point out something that others might not have thought about.

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

i never meant it to come off as i was meaning it had to do with just sex. but i just tend to hate giving something as fluid as sexuality a name. sure, maybe some people know for sure. but i mean, i go from only being attracted to women (mind and body) to only men (mind and body) to woman's bodies and men's minds, vice versa, so not wanting to be connected to anyone mentally but wanting to have sex, to vice versa. i'm just constantly all over the field and having to name that for other people's ease is just kind of annoying. i know what i am, and how i am, and i'm fine without needing a name for it. the kicker is even if you give something a name, and explain it, some people don't understand it anyway.

again, not a fan of names. sure it makes that kind of stuff easier, but i think it's a fault on other people's accounts for just locking them up, and for still locking them up. i mean, i guess i'm just indifferent about naming things because words are merely a human invention. and while i understand the general need for them, i don't really agree about them being a necessity. like i said, people need to have a tangible thing for any intangible. it makes them feel safer, reassured. it helps a lot of people see things better. but i'm just not one of those people hugely. i don't need to have a name for my sexuality, or my mental issues. i know ho wi am, i know my own patterns, and that's all i need.

and it's fine. debating is fun, when you have two rational people playing along. and i respect everything you said, and i mean it makes sense, but i just don't personally think us giving something a name really means much. every sexuality, mental illness, colour, whatever, has such a large spectrum. and while it may help as a guideline, i have a bit of an issue with how inaccurate it can be.

(p.s. - i apologise now for any grammar issue in there, i would reread it but i'm so tired i doubt i'd catch them, or even make more. xD)

[musicalgal14.livejournal.com]

Goodness gracious, no one has asked me that in the longest time! I do, indeed.

maddndbythestars

10 points if you get the reference. :)

[bella414.livejournal.com]

hey i'm becca...we seem really alike...wanna text or chat sometime? either on email or aim or whatever

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

some reason, i think i can hear it? lol. but no idea. :(
added you - amandaxjayx17

[breathecoloursx.livejournal.com]

aim is my favourite means - my sn is amandaxjayx17.(:

[fleurdenarcisse.livejournal.com]

Bonjour, mozzying through queer-mail close to midnight; Isn't insomnia fun?

Can.t say that I am a big fan of country in general, it just doesn't work for me at all..

My posting is here -> http://community.livejournal.com/queermail/229518.html#cutid1

Just thought I would say hi :-)